Bonding, Laughing and Good Times. Spike

You hear the term "male bonding" often enough, but what is it all about?

Perhaps to some it is going to the strip clubs, or getting drunk together. Maybe a weekend out hunting.

I am not into the above (well ok, two out of the three aren't that bad!) so I guess my "male bonding" moments are few and far between.

The past two months I was able to have two of them. First when Arky was out here. He and I have remained very close even though he moved back east several years ago. We e-mail each other at least weekly, often times more. We talk on the phone a few times a month. We have not let the distance get between us.

Arky and I are a lot alike. There are some differences, but our cores are very similar. There are some people in your life that you can open up and share things with. Then there are others, the ones you can share almost anything with. Arky is one of the latter.

Both of us realize this and are appreciative of that fact. Our relationship continues to grow, even though he is far away because of the great communications we share.

The second male bonding moment I shared was with Kevin during our getaway to Tahoe. Kevin and my relationship dates back to 1986, and though we go through periods of time of not seeing each other due to our busy lives, we are able to pick up right where we left off.

Male bonding, what is it to me? The chance to spend quality time with a great friend, few distractions, and a lot of great conversations.


The Lee Chronicles…

As told by Joe Marriott

There is one of them in everyone's life. The "Underdog." Someone who no matter what hand they are dealt, no matter how many times they are faced with defeat, knocked down, beat up, or had their heart ripped out time and time again, they keep getting back up and fighting for their chance at a victory.

Lee (a.k.a. Larry) has to be the Underdog in my life as well as in some of yours. I have known Lee since seventh grade and well to be honest, most if not all of the things above tell you the story of his life.

As with any friend, Lee and I have had our minor differences, and as we have grown up our lives have taken different roads at times, but we still remain good friends.

Many things have been said about Lee, but some of the most often are about how hard he tries. For example Lee does some occasional yard work for Kevin & Marti, and all you will hear from them is how hard of a worker he is.

Lee is always trying.

Lee has something in his life right now, someone special. I know Lee is trying hard, he is being open and honest with her. Not always an easy thing when things have not always been in your favor.

Lee is trying new things, dancing, etc. We all know how stubborn he can be. Perhaps he is trying to see that an open mind is the key to open one's life to great things.

Lee, you are the Underdog in my life, keep trying, keep an open mind and I will keep praying that you find the happiness you deserve.


Ask Spike

Q Spike, I am in a relationship where there is no love, we fight often, but I am afraid of being alone. Help! Bertha in CA

A Bertha, you need to realize that being with someone you do not love is much worse then being alone. You will never be happy with him, yet you can be happy alone! Leave him, learn to love yourself, and enjoy life as it is meant to be, happy!

Q Spike, I am seeing a married man, my friends give me grief about it, but I love this man, what should I do? Cindy in Troubled Land

A Cindy, you first need to realize the chances of you and this married man ever being more then an affair is slim, next to nothing. He will not leave his wife, you will never have him as yours and therefore you will always be the second woman in his life. You will never know what it is to have him completely, to have him hold you every night, to share most of your moments with.

The longer you carry on this relationship, the more you will get hurt. It is a certain thing, not a probable. Read the advice I wrote to Bertha, much of it fits your situation.

Q Spike, what is the secret to a happy relationship?Alice in Alamo

A Alice, I do not know the "secret", nor does anybody, but I do feel the most important thing you can do to help ensure a happy relationship is to make sure that the two of you are completely open and honest with each other. Little secrets and lies always seem to fester and become worse then the truth itself.